Double Standards

I’ll tell you what’s ironic . Not everything. I don’t much really. But, when it comes to double standards, there’s nothing more unbalanced and more fucked up than expected scrupulous behavior during courtship and “more than friends” moments. They blame the feminist movement for the blurred lines between male to female interactions and relational values. While it has spurred several positive changes, a most significant devaluation of chivalry is on the rise. It’s upsetting and ugly.   Women–the females, the ladies, the girls–are more than welcome to “keep [their] options open” while considering a suitor, a boyfriend, a fuck buddy, a friend, a off and on boyfriend or girlfriend, or what have you. However, men–the guys, the boys, the males–are expected to consign accordingly and devote all their energies and feelings to one partner. (I’m not saying women are always the ones who like to keep their options open and sow their wild oats. As analogy and cliche would have it, norms and stereotypes say otherwise.)   If that doesn’t sound like one misinformed equation, I don’t know what other good can be yielded except when all cards of value are laid out. This would at least give the other person, be it the man with the woman, or the woman with the other woman, or the man with the other man, a chance–a ray of hope that honesty is there. Opportunity exists when truth claims no burden but lights the boulevard of task and that loaded word people love to call “chance”. I believe that in this life, there are only choices in this life. You either do or do not do something.  And it is idiocracy to convey anything other than the truth (i.e. Fuck math. You either lie or you’re honest). An omission is still a betrayal.  Love, if she exists in some small universe, does not allow anyone to exhibit said behavior. You keep that in mind the next time you wish she was your girl and she says she wants you but she needs time or space or has to figure things out, and yet she’s stringing 2(+) girls along; and you keep that in mind when he calls you every so often for more than an “i miss you” or “how are you”, all the while knowing there is some other “body” out there willing and ready to offer themselves if you won’t. What these lost souls want is somebody, not someone. That, my friend, is not love. Not in any parallel dimension or any dictionary. Perhaps, an L word of a different kind but not Genuine, self sacrificing, honest, clean, worthy, honorable, patient Love. Remember that whether you have a past or never did have one, they’re out on the prowl when they’re not around you or talking to you. Those kinds of individuals–people, if you want to call them that, are not going to look after your heart or romance you. They’ll swoon your mind and deceive your heart. Do you want pain and misery and worthlessness? Because that’s what happens when you deny the conviction that this complacency for this inadequate but ever consuming dilemma–double standard–is acceptable and has to be your life. It doesn’t. It’s up to you to decide where you go and who you love. Make it your own and fear not, because in the end, sometimes you can only save yourself.